by Dan Wilson
The nitty gritty of life for the sons of Noah as they struggled to keep the ark clean during the flood.
Ham: Ha! Rock beats scissors!
Shem: Best two out of three?
Japheth: Come on Shem, we've got to determine the other two duties.
Shem: One, two, three.
Japheth: Paper covers rock. You have Mammal duty.
Ham: Have fun boys. I'll get the feed.
Japheth: How much do we have left? Dad said that he packed a lot of food but it's been... it's been...
Shem: One hundred and seventy days, eight hours, and thirty- minutes. Forty days of rain and one hundred and thirty of drifting.
Ham: Well, I'd estimate we have enough for another month, if there are no more births.
Japheth: Well, that's one blessing. There don't seem to be any more pregnancies.
Shem: We should have put the rabbits in different pens as soon as they arrived.
Ham: Nah, what would we have fed the snakes then?
Japheth: I don't understand why we even brought those creatures with us. Dad told us himself that the snake was the reason why things were so bad. We should have let them drown with everything else.
Shem: Well, finer points of metaphor aside, he said that anything with the breath of life in it was allowed to come on board.
Ham: Breath of life. Nowadays it's more like the stench of death. I'm sure that we're real popular with the fish down there.
Japheth: We could always keep it in your room, Ham.
Ham: Better concentrate on what your doing, Japheth. That Macaw is looking at your fingers like they might be something good to eat.
Shem: Do you ever wonder if he forgot about us?
Ham: Dad? Just try not cleaning the stalls. You'd see whether or not he's forgotten about us.
Shem: No, not Dad. God.
Japheth: God doesn't forget anyone, or anything.
Shem: Well, it's been One hundred and seventy days, eight hours and forty minutes. And we still haven't hit solid ground.
Ham: It wouldn't be so bad if Dad would just open the window.
Japheth: He has his reasons.
Ham: He's always had his reasons. He had his reasons for building this ark, for filling it full of animals the world would be better off without.
Shem: We really could have done without the skunks.
Japheth: I don't believe you two. If it wasn't for Dad, we'd be dead right now.
Ham: I just wish he wouldn't keep us in the dark so much. Whenever I try to talk to him about when we can open the window, he just looks at me and says, "God, in his mercy will keep us safe from harm." and then walks off!
Japheth: Shem? Be careful where you're shoveling, ok?
Shem: Oh, sorry.
Japheth: God will keep us safe from harm. He has so far, hasn't he?
Shem: There was the problem with the porcupines...
Japheth: But you got better. We haven't run out of food. We have enough water for a while, thanks to the rain barrels.
Ham: Water, water, everywhere, and not a drop to drink...
Ham: I don't know. It just came to me.
Japheth: I give up. I don't know why I even pay attention to the two of you.
Shem: I'm sorry, Japheth. It just gets to me sometimes.
Japheth: It gets to us all. But God will take care of us. It won't be much longer.
Ham: How long has it been again?
Shem: One hundred and seventy days, eight hours and ... fifty-two minutes.
© Dan Wilson, all rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, provided no entrance fee is charged. In return for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of any performance. He may be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org