David and Goliath (well....sort of)

By Janelle S. Ponte


What could have happened if David had decided to rely on King Saul's armour instead of relying on God.


Since this is an easy play and humorous, a line between the two camps (Philistine and Isralites) should be visible with streamers, or toilet paper etc.... with the actors trying to avoid crossing the line. Two signs "Philistine Camp (home of Goliath)" and "Isralites Camp (Home of God the Almighty)" should be in place.



Hot Dog, Pizza Box, Armor (boxes and pieces of cardboard covered in tin foil work nicely), a make shift sling shot (a ping pong ball wrapped in foil for the rock), Marshmallows and roasting sticks


Narrator: Once upon a time there was a boy named David. David loved the Lord and the Lord Loved David. David had several brothers who were camped out at the Philistine/Isralite war lines. One day, David's father packed lunches for the older brothers and sent David off to the war front to feed his brothers.

David: HOT DOGS....GET YOUR STEAMY HOT DOGS HERE!! (walks up to brothers who are roasting marshmellows around a campfire)

Brother 1: Hot Dogs? We don't want no stinkin' hot dogs here.

Brother 2: Hey...didn't we order pizza?

Goliath: FEE FI FO FUM.......I SMELL.......Hot Dogs? You wimpy Isralites are eating hot dogs? (laugh) We're over here chowing down on a SUPREME pizza ....(laugh)

Brother 3: Dude, that dude Goliath has been out here everyday for a month..... Dude, somebody needs to set him straight, somebody needs to take him out, show him the door, waste his sorry Butt, Duke him o...........

David: (interupting): I think we get the point. (walks closer to Goliath)

Brother 3: Hey...they just need to get rid of the Dude..that's all I'm sayin'.

David: (walking back to brothers) I think I can take him out.

Brother 2: No you can't.

David: Yes I can.

Brother 2: No you can't.

David: Yes I can.

Brother 2: No you can't.

David: Yes I can.

Brother 1: He'll squash you like a bug! (accidently steps on brother 3's foot)

Brother 3: DUDE!

David: Well, I'm gonna go ask King Saul. (sticks out tongue. Walks over to King Saul) King......I think I can beat that overgrown, dirty, yellow-bellied, sap sucking, leach eating, nose picking, belly button lint licking giant of a man.

Goliath: (yelling from the other side) AM NOT!

David: ARE TOO!

Goliath: AM NOT!

David: ARE TOO!

Goliath: AM NOT!

David: ARE TOO!

Goliath: AM NOT!

David: ARE TOO!

King Saul: DAVID!!!! If it will shut you up...go ahead and try.....but take all my armour....

David: You mean I can use all your armour!? Cool, my car will be sparkly clean and protected.

King Saul: NO, David....I said all my armour. Not my Armour All.

David: I knew that.

King: No you didn't.

David: Yes I did.

King: No you didn't.

David: Yes I did.

King: DAVID! Just go!

(David goes to get suited......armour is huge and covers him)

David: (helmet) Okay, this will protect my head. (leg armour) This will protect my shins. (body armour) This will protect my unmentionables. (yelling from inside the armour) WHAT ABOUT THE SWORD?? CAN'T I HAVE THE SWORD TOO??

(Two people carry in the very heavy sword)

(David struggles...can't hold the sword...stumbles....etc....fighting his way to Goliath...Goliath meets him half way)

Goliath: You're going to DIE!!

David: No I'm not.

Goliath: Yes you are.

David: No I'm not.

Goliath: Yes, you are..

David: No I'm not.

Goliath: Yes you are. (knocks David over with his index finger)

David: (squirms and struggles and cannot get up) Wait...no fair.......hold on......lemme try again.

Narrator: So there you have it. Because David accepted the armour of man....Goliath became Champion and that is why all of the world worships a pagan god Baal. Because David could not stand up to the..........

Real Narrator: (enters): Hold on here....Hold on.......This is not what happened...and we are not worshipping a pagan god named Baal. (calls up friends from the audience)


Real Narrator: Yes, David did love God and God did love David, But it went something more like this.

Goliath: If you think your God is more powerful than my God Baal, why won't one of you come defeat me?

David: (bows to king with respect) OH King....if it pleases you, let me prove to the Philistines that our God is more powerful than their God. Let me show the one they call Goliath that he can be defeated. I can do it King, I will not disgrace our God.

King: David, you are just a boy.

David: Yes, I am a boy, but that means nothing when I have God on my side.

King: Okay David, God be with you....but...use my armour to protect yourself.

David: Your armour is too big, I have all the protection I need from my God. (walks out to Goliath)

Goliath: Am I a dog that you come at me with sticks??.....Today I will be feeding the birds of the air and the beasts of the land with your flesh.

David: You come to me with a sword and shield, but I come to you with the name of the Lord God Almighty, whom you have cursed. Today the Lord will deliver you into my hands and I will feed the birds of the air and the beasts of the land with your flesh.

(Goliath stands)

(David runs and swings his sling...throwing the stone [ping pong ball wrapped in aluminium foil]...Goliath falls)

Real Narrator: So you see, David did not need the armour that the King had to offer.....David knew that God was more than powerful enough to get the job done.

Brother 3: But DUDE, David and God were tight like that...they were hangers together, like rock solid, like amigos , compadres, they...........

Real Narrator: Yes, they were. And the relationship that David had with God is the relationship that Jesus wants to have with you, and you, and you (points to audience). So together you and Jesus can defeat the Goliaths that you come in contact with.


© Copyright Janelle S. Ponte, all rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on condition no entry fee is charged. In return for free performance, the author would be appreciate being notified where and when the play is performed. She may be contacted at janelle_sp@yahoo.com