Parable of the sower
By Steven Muir
There's a group of farmers dedicated to obtaining equal rights for roads
to grow seed. A humorous look at the parable of the sower.
(Scene: Car passing a tractor - could be cardboard cutouts).
SFX: Beep beep
Motorist: Do you realise youíve been spilling all this seed down the
road Ė Iíve been driving over it for a couple of km. Is your tractor faulty
Farmer: No sir, the tractors just fine, I want that thar seed to be
on the road.
Motorist: Sorry!!?? Youíre intentionally putting your seed on the road.
Look I might be a bit of a city slicker but I was under the impression
that seed grows better in a paddock after youíve ploughed it and all that.
Farmer: Yes sir, I reckon youíd be right about that paddock thing
Motorist: So is there any reason youíre putting your seed on the road?
Farmer: Yes sir, theres a whole group of us all over the world called
ERFAL and weíre all doing it
Motorist: ERFAL sounds awful. Does it stand for anything?
Farmer: Yes sir, it stands for Equal Rights For All Land. We in ERFAL
believe that itís unfair that only the bourgeios soil gets the privileged
position of bearing fruit. We think that all land types should have equal
opportunitites, and asphalt has as much right as anything to try and grow
things. Itís only this dualistic, capitalistic, neoagrarianistic culture
that discriminates against bitumen and prevents it from achieving itís
Motorist: (stunned) ohhÖ so does this stuff actually grow?
Farmer: Iím sure there have been at least one or two that have sprouted.
Motorist: And did they grow?
Farmer: Yes sirÖ. Well just 2 or 3 at the side of the road I seem to
remember. The rest got snapped off in their primeÖby callous motorists
like you, I might add.
Motorist: A couple of plants out of millions of seeds, doesnít sound
very efficient to me.
Farmer: No sir, itís not - but what do you expect after centuries of
asphalt repression. Years of ingrained habits donít change overnight you
know. Still we press on encouraging ourselves with the ERFAL Anthem.
Motorist: Donít think there's any danger of anything here getting
IN-GRAINed. So youíve got an anthem Ė how does it go?
Farmer: (To tune of "Row, row, row your boat")
Sow sow sow your seed
Gently down the road
Sadly sadly sadly sadly
None of it has growed
Altogether now (get everyone to sing in two parts)
Copyright Steven Muir, 2002.
If you perform this sketch I would appreciate knowing about it. Please