Parable of the sower

By Steven Muir

Summary

There's a group of farmers dedicated to obtaining equal rights for roads to grow seed. A humorous look at the parable of the sower.

Characters

Farmer
Passing motorist

Script

(Scene: Car passing a tractor - could be cardboard cutouts).
SFX: Beep beep
Motorist: Do you realise youíve been spilling all this seed down the road Ė Iíve been driving over it for a couple of km. Is your tractor faulty or something.
Farmer: No sir, the tractors just fine, I want that thar seed to be on the road.
Motorist: Sorry!!?? Youíre intentionally putting your seed on the road. Look I might be a bit of a city slicker but I was under the impression that seed grows better in a paddock after youíve ploughed it and all that.
Farmer: Yes sir, I reckon youíd be right about that paddock thing
Motorist: So is there any reason youíre putting your seed on the road?
Farmer: Yes sir, theres a whole group of us all over the world called ERFAL and weíre all doing it
Motorist: ERFAL sounds awful. Does it stand for anything?
Farmer: Yes sir, it stands for Equal Rights For All Land. We in ERFAL believe that itís unfair that only the bourgeios soil gets the privileged position of bearing fruit. We think that all land types should have equal opportunitites, and asphalt has as much right as anything to try and grow things. Itís only this dualistic, capitalistic, neoagrarianistic culture that discriminates against bitumen and prevents it from achieving itís full potential.
Motorist: (stunned) ohhÖ so does this stuff actually grow?
Farmer: Iím sure there have been at least one or two that have sprouted.
Motorist: And did they grow?
Farmer: Yes sirÖ. Well just 2 or 3 at the side of the road I seem to remember. The rest got snapped off in their primeÖby callous motorists like you, I might add.
Motorist: A couple of plants out of millions of seeds, doesnít sound very efficient to me.
Farmer: No sir, itís not - but what do you expect after centuries of asphalt repression. Years of ingrained habits donít change overnight you know. Still we press on encouraging ourselves with the ERFAL Anthem.
Motorist: Donít think there's any danger of anything here getting  IN-GRAINed. So youíve got an anthem Ė how does it go?
Farmer: (To tune of "Row, row, row your boat")
Sow sow sow your seed
Gently down the road
Sadly sadly sadly sadly
None of it has growed

Altogether now (get everyone to sing in two parts)
...................................
Copyright Steven Muir, 2002.
If you perform this sketch I would appreciate knowing about it. Please email steven.muir@cdhb.govt.nz