By Christin Kuck
The Wizard is going away on a trip and has some talents he'd like to pass on to his managers. Will they use their talents wisely?
The Wizard of Odd
(Scene: The Land of Odd.)
Narrator: Once upon a time in a land far away, there was a great and powerful wizard. The Wizard of the land of Odd. .... A great and powerful wizard.... I said, there was a great and powerful wizard!
Wizard: (Old man sleeping in chair suddenly wakes up). Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. (Realizes where he is) Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.
Narrator: The Wizard planned a journey to a far away place and called a board meeting to give instructions to his managers.
(Enter: Scarecrow and Tinman)
Narrator: But the Lion, formerly known as Cowardly Lion, was away overseeing replanting of the poppy field. So a replacement was called in.
Scarecrow: Why are you always late, Munchkin?
Tinman: Yes, and dont try to give us that same lame old story about getting lost in the haunted forest.
Munchkin: Ahhh, shudup, you overgrown tin can!
Tinman: You little pip squeak! Why! I oughta-
Munchkin: Yeah! Well, your mother was a Ford Pinto!
Wizard: (Enterupts argument) Ahhhhhh. An assembly of my most trusted managers. Eh, hem. Oh yes. And you Munchkin. (Pause) As you all know, I have decided to take a long needed vacation.
Scarecrow: Warm sands, blue seas, fruity drinks with little umbrellas.
Tinman: Yes! Where are you going? Tahiti, Jamaica, the Bahamas.
Wizard: Im going to Kansas.
Munchkin: Oh man, I hope youre not bringing back that brat and her mangy mutt.
Wizard: Not this time. While Im gone, I am going to entrust each of you with a talent.
Narrator: The Scarecrow, Tinman and Munchkin were ecstatic by this news. The Scarecrow said...
Scarecrow: A talent. Oh Joy. Oh rapture.
Narrator: The Tinman said...
Tinman: I shall perform my talent with all my heart.
Narrator: And the Munchkin said...
Munchkin: When the cats away, the mice do play.
Narrator: And so the Wizard proceeded to distribute his prized talents.
Wizard: You, Tinman were last given a heart. And because you have used it so wisely, I have decided to bestow upon you an extra measure of love. So, to you I give the talent of charity. (Pulls heart shaped clock out of box and hands it to Tinman). Use it wisely.
Tinman: Oh look. It even ticks!
Wizard: And to you Scarecrow, I am giving a new talent. The talent of joy. (Pulls scroll out of box and hands it to scarecrow)
Scarecrow: The two sides of an isosceles triangle equals a henway.
Tinman: Whats a henway?
Scarecrow: Oh, about two and a half pounds.
Munchkin: Im surrounded by morons.
Wizard: And to you, Munchkin, I give the talent of peace. (Pulls out peace sign and hands to Munchkin)
Munchkin: A peace symbol! What ever happened to cold, hard cash!
Narrator: And so, because the Wizards hot air balloon was under repair, he tied several birthday balloons to his lawn chair and set out on his journey. (Wizard exits stage) The Scarecrow and Tinman carefully devised plans to put their talents to good use. But the Munchkin was not so industrious.
The Wizard ran into a slight technical problem on his return landing (Wizard enters stage covered in electrical wire) and thus decreed all overhead power lines be removed from the land of Odd. He then requested a full accounting from his managers.
Wizard: Ahh. Tinman. To you I gave the talent of charity. How did you use your talent?
Tinman: Oh great and most wise of wizards. As youll recall, last spring the Wicked Witch of the West met her demise in a dreadful accident involving a bucket of water. (Everyone nods including Narrator). Since that time, the mortgage company repossessed her castle and evicted all the flying monkeys. In your absence I set up a homeless shelter for dispossessed flying monkeys, and have made provisions for an employment service to find each one a new job.
Wizard: Well done, good and faithful servant. How creatively you used your talent. And how about you Scarecrow. What did you do with your talent of joy?
Scarecrow: Oh great and powerful Wizard of Odd. I took your talent of joy and mediated a labor union dispute among the Munchkins. I havent seen morale this high since that house landed on the Wicked Witch of the East.
Wizard: Well done, Scarecrow. Messy thing, Munchkin labor disputes.
Narrator: But now it was time for the Munchkin to give account.
Wizard: And Munchkin. How did you use your talent of peace.
Munchkin: First of all, if you call me a Munchkin one more time, Im going to file a discrimination claim with the EEOC. I prefer the term vertically challenged.
(Wizard, Tinman, Narrator and Scarecrow roll eyes.)
Munchkin: I gotta tell you, big guy, this peace thing was no picnic. I think I hurt something in my brain trying to come up with some way to use that stupid talent. In fact, it was so stressful, I decided a vacation was in order. So I took off to Palm Springs. Did some shopping, had my nails done. Spent a day at the spa. Oh, and I met this cute tennis pro named Hans. It was the most peaceful time of my Munchkin life!
Narrator: But the Wizard was not pleased.
Wizard: You wicked, lazy Munchkin! You could not even spread peace to one other being in the land of Odd. For that I am taking away your talent and giving it to the Tinman. And you shall be banished from Odd forever into a land of utter darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Munchkin: Oh no! Youre not sending me to....
Wizard: Yes! Toledo, Ohio!
(Tinman and Scarecrow drag Munchkin off stage.)
Munchkin: Ohhhh, noooooo. Anything but that!
Narrator: And so because she let her talent go to waste, the Munchkin was banished from Odd never to be heard from again. And thus ends our story. Join us next time for "Toto Slays the Giant".
© Christin J. Kuck - 1999. All rights reserved. This script may not be altered without permission from the copyright holder. This script may be freely copied and distributed, providing it is done so in its entirety. This copyright notice and the performance license information must be reproduced on all copies of the script.
No performance is permitted unless a copy of the script is licensed to at least one member of the cast OR licensed to the drama group, theatre company or organization performing the sketch. License can be obtained by forwarding a check made out to Christin Kuck in the amount of $5.00 US to 13341 86th Avenue, Seminole, FL 33776. An original licensed hard copy will be mailed upon receipt of check. Christin Kuck can be reached by email at email@example.com