Donkey: When is the innkeeper going to feed us? I’m starving..
Cow: Pipe down over there. All I need is him trying to milk me after he’s tossed back a few glasses of his watered down wine. You’d think he was climbing a rope.
Donkey: Ain’t life rough.. At least you get some attention.. All I get is hitched to a wagon and whipped.. Thank goodness for tough hide.
Sheep: Will both of you quit the moanin! At least he doesn’t look at you like tomorrow’s Blue Plate Special…
Goat: (Monotone) Who really cares what you guys think.. Life is good.. Eat and Sleep.. What a life..
Doves: Hey guys, we’ve got company!!!
Cow: Whooooo is it???
Doves: It’s a man and woman on a donkey..
Donkey: Alright.. The night is looking mighty fine.
Cow: Can the chatter!!! What can you see??
Doves: They went to the door of the inn and were turned away.. Wait, the innkeeper is leading them this way..
Cow: RED ALERT!! Let’s keep the talking to a minimum…
Sheep: Not a Baaaad Idea..
Goat: Suits me…
Donkey: I need to get my mane in order..
Cow: You need to get more than that in order.. Look out, here they come..
Sheep: My goodness.. That girl is HUGE!!!
Goat: Last time I saw something that big, the innkeeper was having a guest over.. Something about the fatted calf..
Donkey: I wonder what her problem is???
Cow: Shut up and we’ll find out!!! (Long Pause) Well, I’ll be!!
Sheep: Yeah, Gertie. What??
Cow: She’s going to have a baby..
Goat: Can’t have a baby here.. Wouldn’t be right..
Donkey: I can’t believe it! Are you sure???
Cow: Just as sure as I am that it’s a male donkey she was riding..
Donkey: (Dejected) Terrific..
Sheep: What else are they saying?
Cow: They have come a long ways.. Something about a census.. Oh, my..
Donkey: What?!?!? What?!?!?
Cow: You heard me.. She’s having the baby.. Alright team.. Let’s pitch in.. Brutus. Let’s sacrifice some straw..
Donkey: OK, but I don’t have much..
Cow: It will be enough.. Beatrice, why don’t you move close to the mother and let her rest on you.
Sheep: You bet Gertie.
Cow: Don’t chew on anything..
Cow: Harry and Jerry, you keep watch..
Doves: We’ll do..
Cow: My word… What’s going on!?!?!?!
Donkey: I don’t know, but I think something BIG is happening!
Doves: I’d say you’re right.. There’s a huge star in the sky and the light leads down to here..
Seep: Oh my.. He’s Beautiful…
Goat: Thank goodness.. Hate for him to be ugly..
Cow: Oh my word.. I think we’ve just witnessed something…
Donkey: Something is right…
Sheep: I can’t believe my eyes..
Doves: We’re going to tell all the other animals about this.
Cow: Who knows? They may write a song about this..
Donkey: We could be immortalized
Sheep: We could become the things legends are made of..
Goat: We could become Supper.
Goat: Sorry.. Just my wry sense of humor..
Cow: Tonight has been a special night.. One I know people will be hearing about for generations.
© Michael Humphrey, All rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being sent a bulletin of the performance, or an audio track if possible. He may be contacted at: email@example.com