By Peter & Mary Minson
Two friends mull over the significance of Christmas.
Two friends (either sex)
A: You know what I reckon?
B: [disinterestedly - absently- looking in the other direction] No. What do you reckon?
A: It's too long ago!
B: You don't say!
A: Yeah, I do. Far too long ago.
B: You reckon?
A : Yeah. Just too long ago.
B: Ok. If you say so.
A: Yeah. I do, I guess.
B: Right.
A: Yeah, glad you agree.
[long silence]
B: Umm...mate?
A: Yeah Mate?
B: WHAT''s too long ago?
A: I thought you agreed with me?
B: About what?
A: About the birth of Jesus being too long ago for people to believe in it any more.
B: Nah....I don't think I agreed with THAT.
A: But you DID!
B: What?
A: Agree that it was too long ago.
B: I DID?
A: Yeah.
B: When'd I do that?
A: Just back then.
B: I can't believe I agreed that the birth of Jesus was too long ago for people to believe in any more. I don't accept that.
A: Well yer did. Just before.
B: So YOU say. But what proof have you got that I said it.
A: Well...I heard you.
B: Says who?
A: Says ME. I heard you. And I'm saying you agreed with me - just back then.
B: I'm sorry, but you'll have to do better than that. It's your word against mine. Nobody heard me agree with you. Not very impressive in a court of law, eh?
A: I...you....well! .... Ha! That proves my point actually!
B: No it doesn't
A: Yes it does. Listen. If we had a conversation a mere 2 minutes ago in which you made a statement which you now deny making, and there's nobody else around to prove that it actually happened - that proves my point - the tale about Jesus being born in Bethlehem and a virgin and angels and shepherds and kings and stuff allegedly happened much more than 2 minutes ago.
B: So?
A: So, my amnesiac friend, if an intelligent but forgetful individual like YOU can't accept what I swear on a Bible happened just 2 minutes ago, then how can any rational being believe in a story some blokes reckon happened 2000 years ago today sir?
B: It's not the same thing.
A: Yes it is.
B: No it's not. Now YOU listen. For a start, when Jesus was born there weren't just two blokes sitting in a church discussing it - heaps of people knew about it. You can't make up a story when there's hundreds of witnesses, can you?
A: How do you work out the hundreds? Far as I can work out there was just Mum, Dad, and the kid. Could just be a pack of lies.
B: Not with shepherds running into town and angels in the night sky and a flaming great comet followed by the Central Committee of the Royal Astronomical Society riding camels - makes a bit of a public spectacle, that kind of thing. Let alone the court of King Herod and his storm-troopers all getting in on the act
A: Yeah, but they could've made that all up.
B: Made up a comet?
A: No...I'll admit that everybody must've known about that...but the virgin birth and the angels singing and the dreams Joseph and Mary had - none of that's able to be checked.
B: Yes it is.
A: OK, tell me how?
B: Simple. Ask the witnesses.
A: What witnesses.?
B: Your shepherds and innkeepers and the royal court and the army and the family of the accused.
A: What've THEY got to do with it?
B: Seems obvious. When the story about the marvelous birth of Jesus was first talked about, anybody like you who couldn't believe it could jump on a mule and toddle off to Bethlehem - just a hop skip and a jump from the capital, and simply CHECK with any adult, and they'd immediately find out whether there was any truth in it. But nobody DID.
A: Did what?
B: Back in the time the Christmas story was first noised about, nobody tried to prove it was a fairy tale.
A: So what does that prove?
B: Seems to me it proves that even the people who would've liked to prove it was all lies, even they knew there was no point. Too many witnesses knew it was true.
A: You reckon.
B: Yeah, I reckon.
A: You studied this thing then?
B: Nah. Just read it in the Bible. The story's got a ring of truth. Too amazing for any bloke to make up and get away with if it was lies.
A: I guess.
B: Yeah.
[long silence]
A: Kinda makes a difference then.
B: Jesus?
A: Yeah. If he WAS born like that, and it WASN'T just a legend, then maybe I'd better think about what he said then.
B: Reckon.
A: Yeah.
[long silence]
A: Millenium thing too [WANDERS OFF]
B: [absently] right. ...what? hey...what do you mean? [TRAILS OFF TOO]
[AS THEY EXIT]
A: WHOSE Millennium is it?
B: Yeah...2000 years since WHAT?
.....................................................................................................
©: Copyright Mary and Peter Minson 1999. All rights reserved.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the authors would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed.
They may be contacted at: p.m.minson@gmail.com