Sonia: 'Ere Tracey you look all done in. Sit yourself down, take the weight off you brains.(Offers her a stool)
Tracey: Ta, Sonia. Youíre a gem. Iím just about fit to collapse. You should have seen the town. Itís a jungle out there.
Sonia: Do you fancy a drink? Looks like you need one.
Tracey: Thanks love. Make it a large one. My arms feel like theyíre gonna drop off.
Sonia: Well, I wasnít going to give it to you intra Venice, like , was I?
Tracey: Nah, I know that, I just meant these bags have made me arms about 3 foot longer. How I made it from the bus stop I canít say.
Sonia: Well itís only round the corner.
Tracey: Yeah I know, but itís me age, innit?
Sonia: Youíre only 32. Anyway whereís your Kev in all this? Whyís he not helping?
Tracey: Broke up, didnít we?
Sonia: Cor blimey, not again. You two have had more come backs than Frank Sinatra.
Tracey: Yeah, well itís for good now. He said I was taking him for granted.
Sonia: For grunted, more likely. All he ever did was slob out in front of the box on your sofa.
Tracey: Eh, watch it. I wonít have you talking about my Kevin like that.
Sonia: Well heís not, is he? You just said heís packed you in. Still at least you didnít have to get him a present. Looking at your bags heís the only one youíve not bought for. Iíve never seen so much stuff. Whatíd you get?
Tracey: Well Iím not telling you what youíve got. But Iíll give you a hint..... "Because you're worth it."
Sonia: Ooh Tracey you havenít? Not a Boots token? What else you got?
Tracey: Well you gotta get someone a yo-yo this year, havenít you?
Sonia: : Whoís that for then?
Tracey: : Your Trevor.
Sonia: But heís 34.
Tracey: Yeah I know but itís about the right mental age. And just in case his strength runs out, which it generally does, the yo yoís got its own little motor. I got him a Super Mario too - nearest youíre going to get to having a plumber fix your system - canít see your Trev getting around to it. ĎEre, I tell you what I have got thatís lovely - look at this (shows item of baby clothing) - what díyou think of that?
Sonia: Ooh Trace..itís so sweet..
Tracey: Itís for little Amber.
Sonia: I guessed it wasnít for Trevor.
Tracey: Sheís so sweet - sheíll look a treat in it on Christmas morning.
Sonia: Itís what itís all about, innit?
Tracey: Yeah, Christmas is for the children. (Sings) "When a child is born"
Sonia: Blimey, spare us, Tracey We donít want to empty the pub, do we?
Tracey: All right. Itís just Christmas makes me come over all gooey thinking about the little babies and all that.
Sonia: You wanna watch them kind of thoughts Trace.....Funny though, innit. All that Christmas is for the children milarky. You canít help thinking who thought that up.
Tracey: Some bloke from Woolies, I wouldnít be surprised so he could shift crate loads of toys.
Sonia: No ...thinking about it..
Tracey: Careful Sonia. Donít overstretch yerself. I know youíve got 6 E grades but it was a long time ago.
Sonia: Thereís no call for that. No thinking about it ..itís got to be to do with him, innit?
Sonia: (points upstairs)
Tracey: What, the landlord?
Sonia: Nah. Him. God , yer know.
Sonia: ĎCos he sent Jesus...the baby Jesus.
Sonia: Least thatís what they say. Me I think itís a lot of hogwash. I mean that Jesus, he didnít even exist did he? I mean itís all made up like a fairy tale.
Tracey: (Uncomfortable) Yeh ...I suppose so...itís just that..
Sonia: Well you know Vera Pleb?
Tracey: What, her from down packing in the blouse factory?
Sonia: Yeh, thatís the one. She says he did exist. Fact she says he still does.
Tracey: Get on. Whatís she mean? Whatís she talking about?
Sonia: I donít know rightly. Itís just she says that sheís met him.
© Andy Lund
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