By Kerrie Polkinghorne
The play is set some time in the 1980s. A boy and girl have been set up for a blind date, but because of their insecurities talk themselves out of it.
Mirror 1 (standing with arms up in the frame of a mirror/window)
Matchmaker 'Tina' (voice only)
2 telephones (not mobiles)
80s music in background
Any other 80s furniture & costumes
(Setting: Sometime in the 1980s. The stage issplit into 2, one side the girl's bedroom, one side the boy's bedroom. At the start, the actors are frozen on stage. They are each holding a phone to their ear.)
TINA: (Voiceover) Yeah it's gonna be gnarly, you're gonna have so much fun - trust me. You guys are perfect for each other, you'll see. So going over the details one last time... You're meeting at 8'o clock at Downtown Diner. You need to stand by the milk bar so they know it's you. Make sure you wear something nice.. remember, first impressions always last on a blind date! Well, have fun ok? Make sure you call me after and tell me all the juicy details! Smell ya later!
(Joel remains frozen for Amy's scene, then Amy freezes for Joel's scene)
GIRL: Oh my gosh I'm sooo nervous! I've never been on a blind date before. (Looks into mirror) I have no idea what to expect.
MIRROR 1: You're not going out wearing that top, are you?
GIRL: I like this top.. I bought it last week at John Martin's* (*or other outdated store).
MIRROR 1: It's a bit loud, don't you think? What do you think he'll say?
GIRL: He might like it! …. Yeah I guess you're right. What if it doesn't match what he's wearing? I mean, I don't even know what he's wearing!
MIRROR 1: You don't even know what he looks like.
GIRL: Yeah.. what if he's really ugly? Man that will be so embarrassing. But what if he's like totally spunky? Man that will be even more embarrassing… I will probably look like a blubbering idiot! I wonder what kind of build he has. I don't want him to be too chubby, but then again if he's too buff then I will look fat! Oh my gosh, what if he thinks I'm fat?
MIRROR 1: And I would seriously reconsider that hairdo.
GIRL: What's wrong with my hair? Is it not big enough? It's not big enough, is it. I suppose I should but some more gel in it. Or crimp it maybe. Oh man.. what if he hates it?
MIRROR 1: What if you hate his hair?
GIRL: I'm sure I won't. I mean, I probably won't. So long as it's thick and mullety, I'll be happy. No skinheads for me. Oh man what if he's a skin head?!
BOY: Mate, this date is gonna rock, we're gonna party like it's 1989! I'm pumped. (Looks into mirror) You handsome devil, you!
MIRROR 2: What are you looking at? I'm not too sure about those jeans.
BOY: What's wrong with them? They're alright… Mmm.. they're probably too dark. She probably won't like them. I knew I should have gone with the stonewashed ones! ... I still look alright though.. this top makes me look buff.
MIRROR 2: Buff? I don't think so. More like Buffy. Especially with that hair.
BOY: Shut up! There's nothing wrong with my hair. Anyway, what counts is my personality! I'm a modern day SNAG! You know.. 'Sensitive New Age Guy'?
MIRROR 2: SNAG? More like 'Seriously Nerdy Average Goofball'. What are you going to talk about?
BOY: I dunno. Cars? Oh.. what if she doesn't like cars? Football? .. But what if she doesn't like football? Music? I wonder what cassettes she listens to. Either way, I'll wow her with my wit and charm.
MIRROR 2: And who's gonna pay for it? You're not made of money!
BOY: I know, but what if I don't pay for her, and she thinks I'm stingy? She might be really rich. Maybe I'm out of my depth.
GIRL: He's totally going to be a skin head, I just know it.
MIRROR 1: Now you don't know that for sure. On the other hand.. I don't like your chances.
BOY: Oh man, what if she's really sophisticated and wants to talk about art and wine and books and stuff? Man I just want to talk about sport and movies and music and that. I'm gonna look like a total loser.
MIRROR 1: Well what are you going to do?
GIRL: I dunno. I can't go. It's just not going to work. He's going to hate me and I'm probably not going to like him either. It was a stupid idea anyway. I'd better ring Tina and cancel.
(BOY dialls TINA whilst GIRL is still talking. GIRL dials TINA whilst BOY is on the phone to her.. and as a result, reaches her answering machine.)
BOY: (On phone) Hi Tina, umm.. I'm feeling really sick all of a sudden.. yeah I don't think I can go tonight. ..yeah such bad timing I know! Anyway can you tell her that I'm really sorry and that maybe we can do it again sometime. I'm really sorry. See you later.
GIRL: (On phone) ..Hey Tina.. I hate these answering machines.. uh.. something's just come up. My grandmother's cat just died.. well it almost died, and grandma's really worried. So I'm not going to be able to come tonight after all. Sorry about that mate.. can you pass it on for me? I guess it wasn't meant to be after all. Anyway I'll see you later. Bye.
© Kerrie Polkinghorne, all rights reserved.,
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. She may be contacted at: firstname.lastname@example.org