NARRATOR: There is nothing so meaningful to Bill and Laura than a romantic candlelight dinner for two.
(Waiter walks over to the table)
WAITER: Are you ready to order?
BILL: I think so. Honey why don't you go first.
LAURA: I'll have the petite fillet mignon with the garden potatoes and frozen peas.
WAITER: Excellent choice. And for you sir?
BILL: I'll have the Rancher's cut steak with Texas toast and baked potatoes.
WAITER: Very good, sir.
(Waiter leaves as Bill and Laura look affectionately at each other. Bill extends his hand to hold Laura's. She smiles warmly.)
NARRATOR: (Upset) I'm sorry folks. I can't read this script. (Shakes script as Bill & Laura break character and look startled as the Narrator continues) I mean when was the last time you had a meal like this? Most of you are parents. Is a meal like this even possible? Pardon me.
(Narrator leaves the mic and joins waiter as the startled couple watch their surroundings change. The table cloth is removed and two young children scramble from underneath the table and run around on stage. A high chair is placed at the table with a two year old placed in the high chair. Narrator walks back to his position on stage. sighs.)
NARRATOR: There, that's more like it.
WAITER: (Walks back in with plastic serving tray filled with fast food in paper bags and cups with straws - dressed in a fast food apron and hat. Calls out loudly.) Number 62. (Bill raises his hand and waiter sits it down and says without enthusiasm.) There you go folks, thank you for visiting Burgers, Burgers, Burgers. Enjoy. (Walks quickly away).
BILL: Honey, did you Giganticize your order so we could share some of the fries with Henry (Points to the two-year-old)
LAURA: I think so. Didn't they give us a large?
BILL: (Shakes head no as John pesters his sister, Suzy) I guess you really can't have it your way. John stop pestering your sister and sit down.
JOHN: Where's my toy.
LAURA: It's in the bag, but you need to eat first.
(John opens toy in bag anyway)
BILL: Young man, what did your mother tell you?
JOHN: What? Oh, (Looks off-stage) look the Play Palace is open. (Runs off-stage)
LAURA: (Bill looks like he's about to say something, Laura holds her hand up to stop him.) Let him play, he can eat on the way home. I don't want to get upset like last time. Talk about major heartburn.
SUZY: Can I go too?
BILL: Do you like cold food, dear?
SUZY: (Pauses - thinking) It's an acquired taste. (Run's off stage)
(The couple pick at their food, then look at each other - Bill places his hand on the table and Laura holds it looking weary).
BILL: What do you know, we're alone at last.
LAURA: (Looks at Henry) Well almost.
BILL: I think this is the closest thing to a date that we've had in (Pause) well, as long as I can remember.
LAURA: (Not interested) Yeah, Honey that's great. Do you have any antacid? I don't think this burger is going down right.
NARRATOR: Finding time to be alone as a couple is hard work and never
seems to be like it used to for parents with small children. The Old Testament
tells us for everything there is a season. Know that the days of fast food
and Play Palaces will one day end. You may not miss the kid's meals and
sibling arguments, but hidden among the daily grind there will be precious
moments that will be long remembered.
LAURA: Not for the food, that's for sure.
NARRATOR: Don't expect perfection from family outings. Enjoy yourself, capture warm memories and then work to find time for just the two of you.
BILL: Yeah, like the hours of 1-3 AM.
LAURA: That's the only time our sleep isn't interrupted.
NARRATOR: The Bible tells us that children are a blessing from the Lord. Your husband or wife is also a blessing that should be around long after the children leave home. So, thank you for making time to be here tonight without the kids.
LAURA: (Looks at the audience) I hope your food tastes better than what I just ate.
(Fade to black)
Copyright 2002 by Glenn A. Hascall & CMI Publishing
If you use this skit would you be so kind as to let us know? glenn.hascall<a>gmail.com