Staging: This was written to be performed in scenes with other parts of the service happening between scenes. It works to run some scenes together.
Si: Heh, aren’t you Ellen? (trying to remember her name) Ellen Dawkins.
Ellen: (icily) Ellen Dawson, actually.
Si: Yeah, that’s right. But at school we used to call you – Smellin Dawkins (Ellen turns her back on him. Realising he has offended her, he swings her back round) Whoa, sorry, didn’t mean to be rude.
Ellen: Look, I don’t think I even know you.
Si: (surprised) Know me? Si – Si Robson. School. Remember?
Ellen: (remembering) Simon Robson. Oh, yes, I do know you now. I just didn’t recognise you, with the hair and all. I don’t remember seeing you round Varsity last year though. What course were you doing?
Si: O.E.
Ellen: Huh?
Si: You know. The big O.E….surfed for a bit in Oz, picked up some work here and there, then cruised off to Europe.
Ellen: Europe? Amazing! You must have seen some wonderful things. Did you make it to Rome?
Si: (thinking) Rome. (sounding doubtful) Yeah.
Ellen: So, did you see round the Vatican Museums? The Colosseum?
Si: (who has been looking puzzled at these names) Well …there were some
pretty cool cafes there and the chicks are something else. Picked up this
really awesome chick one night and we hung around together for a couple
of weeks.
Yeah, Rome was awesome.
Ellen: But didn’t you see anything interesting? Anything historical?
Si: (thinking) Oh, yeah, sure. Munich ruled. I met up with some mates and we did the Oktoberfest. I’ve never been so wasted in my life. It was awesome.
Ellen: But didn’t you run out of money?
Si: Yeah, sure but if you meet the right people you can make a buck or two, under the table of course. You aren’t meant to work on a tourist visa but as long as you don’t get caught…
Ellen: So, you’re starting Varsity this year?
Si: Yeah. I did a stint in Central, fruit picking. I was broke when I got back. But now I’m on the student loan. No interest, cool, huh? We can stack it up as much as we like now!
Ellen: Don’t forget you have to pay it back when you finish.
Si: No fear, babe. I’ll be off to Oz when I’m done. Big money, good life, great chicks. Anyway, how about you? What did you do last year?
Ellen: First year BCom.
Si: Scholarship in Bursary, right?
Ellen: (agreeing, reasonable smugly) Actually, I did do pretty well.
Si: Yeah, you always were bright. Even at Primary School you used to be a try hard.
Ellen: (pointedly) Well, there's no point wasting your life. Most students I know just muck around. But if you really want to go somewhere, you need to put the work in, impress the right people.
Si: Phew! Ellen Clark number 2.
Ellen: (coolly) That’s always a possibility.
Si: Well, good luck, Ellen. (pointing to the desk which the last student is just leaving) Move on up to the Number 1 slot. I’ll leave all the succeeding to you. For me … heh, babe…I’m just here for a good time. Isn’t that the student life?
Lights out
Scene 2 :a few months later… image is everything
OHP: 2001
(Ellen is working late in the library, on a Marketing assignment with
her classmate, Susy. They are seated at a table with 2 chairs. Ellen is
determined to succeed at any cost and is out to impress the right people.
Susy is friendly, helpful and intelligent but not competitive. Ellen has
completed the assignment but is having problems with the final question.)
Ellen: (looking over Susy’s shoulder) Gee, old Rogers gives out dull assignments. What do you think about this last question? It’s a bit hard, isn’t it?
Susy: Yeah. I struggled with that one for ages but I reckon I’ve got it sussed. It was really hard though, wasn’t it?
Ellen: I reckon… So, what did you think?
Susy: (speaks quite quickly and Ellen scribbles down what she says) Well, what I think they’re looking for are some innovative ways you could increase the company’s sales. I came up with a few ideas. See? (shows Ellen) (Pointing) This is the one I really like: bring out a 2-litre bottle and get rid of the 1.5 litre. That way you increase consumption without increasing costs. I read it in a top marketing magazine.
Ellen: (condescendingly) Thanks, Susy. It sounds like you’ve made an OK start.
Susy: You’re welcome, Ellen. (Pause) How about number 2? I wasn’t sure about that one.
Ellen: (putting another book over the top of her work) Oh, I haven’t finished it. (Pause) But it’s definitely got something to do with diminishing returns.
Susy: (frowning, doubtful) Diminishing Returns? I didn’t think so….But if you’re sure…
Ellen: Yes – I am. Make sure you mention that if you want a decent mark.
Susy: Thanks, Ellen. (Looking at watch) Well, I’d better pack it in. It’s half ten. See you in Marketing tomorrow. (She packs up and leaves)
(As Ellen works she notices her lecturer enter and straightens her hair.)
Ellen: (standing up) Oh, hello, Mr Rogers. I’ve just been working on your fascinating Marketing assignment.
Mr R: Err…hello…Ellen, isn’t it? I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I must say I’m impressed to see you working here at this time of night when it’s not due in a for another fortnight.
Ellen: It’s important to me to get ahead. (Pause) I’m finding marketing great.
Mr R: Well, I’ve certainly seen some outstanding work from you and also from that friend of yours – Susan Adamson.
Ellen: Susy? Well, I wouldn’t exactly call her a friend. Just someone I help out. She finds marketing pretty demanding, so I’ve put quite a bit of time in helping her understand the more difficult concepts.
Mr R: That’s very kind of you, Ellen. I like to see a caring attitude – some students can be so competitive, especially in the business courses. So… (Looking over her shoulder) How are you getting on? Good…Good… Ah! I’m glad you realised number 2 had nothing at all to do with diminishing returns. (Pause) Now, how about that last question? That’s the real test. I want to find out who has the real marketing talent in this class.
Ellen: I’m just writing it up now. (Awkward pause. Ellen does some fast thinking) Actually, that was the bit that Susy was really stuck on. I was happy to give her a few of my ideas. The one I really like is something I found in a top Marketing magazine.
Mr R: Really? And what was that? (Beginning hesitantly but sounding more and more confident, Ellen repeats what Susy had said) Well, I must say I’m very impressed. You’re obviously going to go a long way, young lady.
Lights out
(Lights up on Si walking along dressed for the beach, dangling car keys in his hand. Phil and Scott are walking in the opposite direction and they meet centre stage.)
Si: Heh, Phil!
Phil: Heh, Si! You’re going the wrong way, mate. It’s 2:55. Comp 101 starts in 5.
Si: Does it? Oh, yeah, I guess it does. But look at the day! It’s too hot for a crowded lecture theatre. The surf is calling…Heh! Why don’t you guys come too? I’m stopping off at a café and then cruising on out to St Clair.
Phil: Well (hesitating) I’m not in the habit of missing lectures.
Si: Aren’t you? I am. Relax, man. Come and do the student thing. Look, I’ve got a spare board and wet suit in the back of the car – there’s nothing stopping you.
Phil: (impressed) You’ve got a car?
Si: Yeah, sure. Red hot. Come for a spin…
Scott: I’ll be going Phil. I don’t want to miss the start. You coming?
Phil: No you go on, Scott. I think I’ll just go along with me mate, Si, here. (Scott leaves)
Si: Good choice, Phil. Heh, I’ll shout you a few soon, mate but I just want to stop by Strawberry Sound first.
Phil: Is that a café?
Si: (laughing) A café? No. Good sound gear. I’m after a pair of subs. I’ve just got a thousand bucks off on my loan – said it was for living expenses, but heh – you got to get your priorities right. Money means happiness. I’ll pick it up on the way to the waves. Got a (relevant pop group) CD here. We’ll turn it up loud so we can hear it on the surf.
Phil: Sounds cool.
Si: Look; me and my flat mates are having a rave tonight. Few crates, few chicks – bit of fun. Want to head back there after the beach? We’ll pick up a couple of pizzas.
Phil: (doubtfully, he would like to say, yes) Well, I was meant to be studying for a test tomorrow.
Si: Heh, man. Let’s have a riot. Burn a few couches; chat up a few lookers. You don’t need to worry about the test. You’re a student, man. Live it up! Come on – let’s go get the subs. I’m ready for some serious surfing.
(They leave as the lights go out)
Scene 3 : Upwardly mobile
OHP: 2008
(7 years later, in Queenstown. Ellen is at the front of the stage,
dressed in a business suit and has an assistant, Jenny, running after her.
Si is at the back of the stage with his climbing mate, Phil, sorting out
climbing gear. Lights up on Ellen talking with the mayor.)
Sam: (shaking her hand) Delighted to meet you, Ms Dawson. I must say we feel honoured here in Queenstown to have the new Head of Tourism come all this way to meet with us.
Ellen: Well, Mayor Neill....
Sam: Oh, please call me Sam. All my friends do.
Ellen: As I was saying, Queenstown is one of our number one tourist attractions, and in my new job I wanted to see our country’s assets for myself.
Sam: Well, if you’ll just follow me into the lodge. (As he turns, Ellen speaks to Jenny)
Ellen: I don’t believe it. (Pointing to Si and Phil) I went to school with that guy over there.
Jenny: Do you mean the tall bronzed one?
Ellen: No, the short grubby looking one. Si Robson. What a complete loser.
Jenny (glancing admiringly at Ellen) Well, you’d never know you went to the same school. You’ve come a long way in a short time, Ellen.
Ellen: Well, it’s like this, Jenny. I’ve always known what I wanted
and I’ve just worked until I got it.
(They move off and Si and Phil come to the front of the stage)
Si: You’re not going to believe it, Phil, but I went to school with that smart looking chick back there. I haven’t seen her since I got back from Oz but I’d know her anywhere – Smellin Dawkins.
Phil: For real? You mean Ellen Dawson? Don’t you know who she is? The new head of Tourism.
Si: No way! Really? She always was a mover. Not much fun about her. Not my kind of girl – if you know what I mean. You know – I bet we get just as much cash as her when we work for these movie fellas and – heh, it’s hard slog for 3 months but the rest of the year’s cruisy. Did I tell you, I’m off to the Alps after we finish up here? Put in some serious climbing. This is the life – all fun, no responsibilities.
(Lights out)
Scene 4 : All the way to the top….
OHP: 2050
(In an old people’s home. Ellen is in an armchair stage left. Si is in another chair stage right. Lights up (spot) on Ellen. Enter Nurse with tea trolley.)
Nurse: Here you are, Miss Dawson, lovey. Here’s a nice cuppa tea.
Ellen: (in a demanding voice) Do you know who I am? Do you? Minister of Tourism, that’s who I am.
Nurse: Yes, of course you are dear. Now, don’t fuss and drink up this nice cup of tea. (moves on with her trolley)
Ellen: (waving her stick after the nurse) I’m someone important, you know. I’ve made it to the top. I’m not like this common riff raff here. I’m a success, do you hear me?
(Lights down as Ellen slurps her tea. Spot up stage right on Si, seated and Nurse with tea trolley.)
Nurse: Cup of tea, Mr Robson?
Si: Thanks, but just call me Si, will ya? Heh, heh, you’re a cute chick. (grabs her round the waist) and I should know. I’ve had a few in my time. (winks broadly)
Nurse: (unruffled) There now, Mr Robson, just you sit still or you’ll spill your tea on that nice jersey.
Si: Did I tell you about my trip to the Alps? I’ve climbed some of the hardest lines in the world. Heh, I’ve had some experiences in my time. (Pointing at audience) Not like these boring old fogies. My life is really exciting. (coughing fit) Can I have a beer, nurse? This tea’s disgusting.
Nurse: I’m sorry. The doctor said no stimulants. (she walks off with the tea trolley)
Si: (sagging head, slopping his tea) My life’s really exciting, do you hear…? Do you hear…?
(Lights fade out as Si nods over his tea.)
.......................................................................
© Erina Caradus (Dunedin City Baptist) April 2001
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies
are not sold in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for
free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and
for what purpose the play is performed. Our drama group can be contacted
at the following address: Caradii@xtra.co.nz