A Perfect Guy

 By Fred Lane


Two girls in the audience at a taping of "Home Improvement" discuss their own experiences with having and not having the perfect guy.




(Background:  Two girls, Darla and Sarah, that are best friends have been taken by Sarah's family to Hollywood on vacation.  As part of the vacation, they have gone to the set for a taping of Home Improvement.  Sarah is infatuated with Zachery Ty Bryan who plays Brad Taylor. Darla's been asked to come along on the vacation because her parents have just separated.)

(Setting: The video clip of Home Improvement has just ended.  The girls are setting in folding chairs as if they were at the set.)

Sarah: Isn't that Zachery Ty Bryan just SO CUTE?! (Rolls her head as she speaks)

Darla: Yeah, he's pretty cute. I think I like Jonathan Taylor better, tho.

Sarah: (Looks at Darla with amazement) How can you SAY that? Zachery is such a hunk! Those blue eyes and blonde hair just make me crazy!!!(Puts her head all the way back).

Darla: (Looks at Sarah in disbelief) How do you know he's got blue eyes? I couldn't hardly see his eyes from back here. I thought we'd get a chance to meet them since we are here on the Home Improvement set.

Sarah: (Still with her head back, not listening to Darla) He's soooo cute!!!

(Darla elbows Sarah and Sarah jerks her head up)

Sarah: OW!!! Whadidya do that for? (rubs arm and frowns at Darla)

Darla: You better pay attention. You might get a chance to see him even though the taping is over!

Sarah: Hey, that's right!  Maybe I could get him to sign my journal. (pause and looks at Darla) You know, he's a great soccer player; he even made a video about it. (Looks off as if in a dream) He loves hiking and biking and snow skiing in Colorado. He even does special things to help little kids that are really sick.....I can just see us going out together...He picks me up in his sports car and we go dancing at some really expensive Hollywood club....(pause) Oh, I love you Zach Bryan!

Darla: (disgustedly) Will you STOP?!!! You sound like he's the only thing that counts to you!

Sarah: (Back to reality and looks at Darla) HEY! Don't get all uptight with me! I can dream if I want, can't I?

Darla: (more sober) Yeah, it just seems to me that you've already got so much.

Sarah:(Sarcastically) Yeah, right! I've got a bum for a boy friend back home that won't even buy flowers for me on our anniversary and my dear ole dad that refuses to get a car for me! I mean, I'm 16 and I have my driver's license! Anna turned 16 last month and her dad got her a car for her birthday. I'll bet that if Zach Bryan were my boyfriend, he would buy me a car! (Pause) He's rich, you know! (Excitedly, half standing) Look!!!...(pointing forward) There he IS!!! There he IS!!! (Claps hands and lightly jumps up and down several times) Isn't he just perfect?!

Darla: (Turns her head to the side and looks down and speaks sadly as Sarah jumps) Yeah, I guess he is. (slumps down in chair)

Sarah: Well, I guess that's it; people are starting to leave. (Slowly sits down and begins to notice Darla's sad state) Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay? (leans over toward her as she speaks)

Darla: Nothing's wrong.

Sarah: (more urgently) Come on, what's wrong? Are you getting sick?

Darla: No, I'm not getting sick (Looks at Sarah and speaks sadly) I guess....I just wish I had half of what you have.

Sarah: (surprised, looking at Darla) Half of what?

Darla: (Looks down) ...Half of the kind of guys you have in your life.  (pause) My boyfriend dumped me because I was going on vacation with your family. He told me that if I really loved him, I would do what he wanted me to do and stay with him. (pause) And I'm on vacation with you because my dad left my mom and me for this woman he knew at work. He told me that he would call me everyday, but it's been 2 months and I haven't heard from him yet.

Sarah: (shocked; puts her arm around Darla) Oh, wow, Darla; I didn't know! I thought your dad was away on business.

Darla: (sniffling) Well, I don't like to talk about it (pause to wipe eyes with hand)...It's just when I hear you talk about what's happening in your life, I realize how good you really have it. (Straightening up and facing Sarah) I mean, you've got a boyfriend that really cares about you, and your father, well, he loves you, too. He didn't have to let me come along with you on your vacation. He's even paying my way.

Sarah: (looking off) Yeah, well I guess they're okay....sometimes....

Darla: (more intently) Sarah, you really do have great guys in your life.  How would you feel if you were me? The 2 most important men in my life treat me like dirt. (gets up and faces Sarah) I'm not trying to put you down; its just I feel like you don't appreciate what you've got. I'd give anything to have a boyfriend and a dad like yours.

Sarah: (stands) Wow, Darla. (pause) I...I...don't know what to say. I guess sometimes I do take them for granted. (pause) maybe I am a little bit overboard with this Zach Bryan thing.

(Sarah's dad enters)

Dad: (walks to girls) Hey, girls...are you ready to get some supper? Seeing all these tools makes me want to go to Home Depot and buy a hammer! (Fakes hitting Sarah on the head with a hammer; then he looks at each of them carefully) Say, are you 2 alright?

All 3 start to walk out; all stop; Sarah puts her arm through her dad's and Darla's arm; dad looks at her strangely)

Dad: (motions to his arm linked to hers) Hey, what did I do to deserve this?

Sarah: (All resume walking off stage; Sarah looks at her dad and smiles) Dad, you're the perfect guy!


© Fred Lane, Crosswind Community Church, All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: advpastor@gmail.com