The Spouse Centric Marriage Ė 1. Date Night

By Bill Hamilton

Summary

This humorous script is part 1 of a five-part series. It focuses on setting time aside for just the two of you. Additional part is Chuck's buddy Bubba. How this scene ends is determined by the audience.

Characters

Narrator (Bill)
Chuck
Emma
Bubba

Script

Bill: Are you into the latest craze on network television? The reality shows? Thatís where they put people in all kinds of situations, locations and relationships and each week America tunes in by the millions to watch how those people react. Thatís great but thereís just one problem. Theyíre not reality, not even close. Think about it. Is it reality to play games on a tropical island for a million dollars? Eat moose innards for 50 Grand? Show of hands, who got to choose a date or their spouse from among 15 beautiful strangers who competed for your affection? And then got offered the chance to dump that person for a pile of cash?

(Lights come up on stage, Emma enters carrying a food tray and places the items on the coffee table that is in from of the couch.)

For the next few weeks weíre going to bring to you our version of reality by looking in on the lives of a young couple, Chuck and Emma and see the types of issues they deal with from day to day. No million dollar prizes here. No bug eating contests and certainly no R-rated relationships. Just real issues couples deal with everyday. Oh, and todayís episode will require audience participation. Iíll be asking you to determine how Chuck responds to a question Emma raises. What you decide he says will determine how this drama ends.

Tonight is date night. Theyíve agreed - no phone, no kids, no friends, no job issues. Itís all about spending a few quality hours alone Ö. together.

(Emma places the last few items on the coffee table and lights 2 candles that are on the table. She then takes inventory.)

Emma: Letís seeÖ2 cokes, hot buttered popcorn, twizzlers, 2 corn dogs, marshmallows, a box of gummy worms and candlelight. Perfect. (glance at watch) Well as soon as Chuck carries Sweet Home Alabama DVD through that door itíll be perfect. If he forgets again, Iím afraid Iíll just have to kill him. (Timer DING) The mini pizzas are done! (Exits)

Bill: Sorry, just one second here. Did I mention that last week Chuck forgot about date night? It was not a pretty sight. Emma may look petite, but donít let that sweet exterior fool you Ö (Chuck enters) great, appears the boy is right on time.

Chuck: (Enters, followed by Bubba) Emma!! Iím home. Come on in Bubba. My old XBOX is on this desk. It comes with ďSlaughter the GargoylesĒ

(Chuck heads to the desk where the game is but Bubba gets sidetracked to the food. Chuck does not notice Bubba eating the snacks.)

Bubba: Dude! (Begins eatingÖbeing quite messy) Snacks.

Chuck I got to the 20th level last night and was about to take over the world. I discovered that when you kill the green gargoyle you get extra keys that unlock a bunch a sweet weapons, spells and magic potions. Youíre gonna love it! (Goes to a desk and gets the XBOX game and controllers and CD holder with game in it.)

Bubba: (muffled by a mouthful of marshmallows) I love marshmallows! (Begins roasting marshmallows using a fork and Emmaís candle.)

Chuck: Put your teeth back in Bubba, I canít understand a word youíre saying. (pause, sticks nose in the air and sniffs) Do you smell something burning?

Bubba: Marshmallow roast!

Chuck: What are you doing? Donít eat that stuff Bubba, thatís for our date!!!

Bubba: Date? Look Chuck. I mean I like you and all, but I really donít think Iím ready to start dating.

Chuck: Not us. Iím talking about Emma.

Bubba: You want me to date your wife? I thought you were Baptist.

Chuck: Emmaís gonna kill me. (leads Bubba by the arm to the door) Look, take my XBOX. Try it, if you decide to buy it, just bring the 50 bucks to work on Monday okay?

Bubba: Well, sure but Ö

(Chuck is pushing Bubba out the door as Emma enters with the tray of mini pizzas and sees the damage Bubba did.)

Chuck: Iíll see you Monday!

Emma: Chuck?? What happened to all our food?

Chuck: Uh, Bubba happened?

Emma: No, Iím not going to let this ruin our evening. No harm doneÖ..as long as we get to watch Sweet Home Alabama together I can deal with this.

Chuck: Uh, right.

Emma: You did remember to pick up Sweet Home Alabama didnít you?

Chuck: Well, I Ö.

Emma: Chuck, did you even remember tonight was date night?

Chuck: UhÖ

Bill: Okay, freeze the scene.

(Emma and Chuck freeze in place)

Bill: As advertised, this is the interactive part of the drama. (to audience) Youíre going to finish the scene by deciding whether Chuck remembers the DVD and saves the day or forgets it and ruins yet another date night for Emma.

If you think Chuck remembers the DVD, signify by saying ďHE REMEMBERSĒ

If you think Chuck forgets the DVD and forces Emma to have to kill him, signify by saying ďCHUCK YOUíRE A LOSER FOR FORGETTING AND WE DONĒT KNOW WHY EMMA MARRIED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACEĒ

(If they vote ĎAí)

Bill: Isnít that sweet. You went for A - the warm and fuzzy ending. Okay. Letís rewind the scene and pick it up again.

Emma: Chuck, did you even remember tonight was date night? (Holds hand out to catch herself as sheís a little lightheaded) Whoa Ö..

Chuck: What's wrong?

Emma: Major Dťjŗ vu. I think I should sit down.

Chuck: Iíve got just the thing to cure that.

Emma: What?

Chuck: (Hands Emma the DVD) Sweet Home Alabama. But I didnít just rent it. I bought you your own copy. I mean, am I a great husband or what?

Emma: Letís make it a double feature night. First Sweet Home Alabama followed by Legally Blond.

Chuck: What? Bubba! Wait up!!!!

(Lights)

(If they vote ĎBí)

Bill: Yíall are a cold bunch, thatís all I got to say. Okay you voted for B - Letís rewind the scene and pick it up again.

Emma: You did remember to pick up Sweet Home Alabama didnít you? (Holds hand out to catch herself as sheís a little lightheaded) Whoa Ö..

Chuck: What's wrong?

Emma: Major Dťjŗ vu. But forget that. Did you get the DVD or not?

Chuck: No, I didnít.

Emma: Chuck, how could you?

Chuck: Bamm! (Whips out a tape and walks to the TV) They didnít have it in DVD so I got it in VHS format.

Emma: (Tosses a few marshmallows across the room at him) Okay, youíre going to pay for that mister.

Chuck: So do you remember how to work the VCR?

(Lights)

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© Bill Hamilton, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: hamilob@comcast.net