The Good Book

By John Miller


Four guys sit around discussing their wives bible study. Their discussion raises a lot of questions and confusion about the Bible.


Jack – Bill – Bob – Charley


(Setting: Four guys together for an evening. They can be playing cards or watching sports on TV.)

Jack: (Greeting his guests at the door) Hey guys. I’m glad you could all make it tonight.

Bill: Are you kidding?  We wouldn’t miss a “guy’s night out” for anything.

Bob: It sure is easier getting out now that our wives are going to that Bible study together.

Charley: Say Jack, have you got anything to eat?

Jack: Same old Charley. You’re always hungry. (Jack gets some snacks & drinks as they settle into their card game or sports show).

Bob: Speaking of the girls, have any of your wives been telling you about their Bible study?

Bill: Judy did mention that she was really enjoying their time together, (Sarcastically) I told her “That’s great honey I’m really glad you get to go out with your friends”. (They all laugh)

Jack: Aren’t you the wonderful husband. Sending your wife out for a “ladies night out” while you sit at home alone and suffer. (They all laugh again)

Charley: Cindy did tell me a little about what goes on there. She said they really get into the Bible. She told me that the Bible is the “Word of God”? How do they know that?

Bill: Well what about the Koran or the Book of Mormons. Are they the “Word of God” too?

Bob: Don’t forget the Buddhists and Confucius. They’ve got their own writings. We don’t want them to feel left out.

Jack: And what about all the different versions of the Bible? Do they all say the same thing? If not, which one is right? They can’t all be the “Word of God”, can they? It’s confusing to me.

Bob: Patty just bought a “New King James” version. I wonder what happened to the old version? Do you think it wore out or did they have to “modernize” it like they do cars?

Jack: Betty showed me her newest version the other day. It’s called the “Amplified”. I asked her if it came with a head set so she could just plug in and listen to it. She failed to see the humor in that.

Charley: Cindy has a Bible that I thought would be just my speed. It’s called the “Simple English” version. I figured that one probably doesn’t have any big words in it so if I was going to read a Bible that would be the one for me.

Bill: I guess I could never picture God sitting around all day dictating “His Word” to a to a bunch of writers. So how do they know that the Bible wasn’t written by a bunch of guys who were just out to make a few bucks?

Bob: There sure are a lot of stories in the Bible. Who do you think decided what went in and what stayed out?

Jack: Better yet, how did they decide? If it was anything like today, I bet politics had a hand in it.

Charley: Way back then they probably threw dice or just put it up for a vote.

Bob: And what about mistakes. I’m sure there has to be some in there. I can’t even make out a list for the hardware store without making one or two errors or forgetting something.

Jack: You have to admit there are some pretty good stories in the Bible. Good old Adam and Eve make me feel better. It’s good to know that we had real parents way back then. I never felt comfortable thinking that my ancestors were monkeys. But what about that fruit thing? Why do you suppose they think that it was an apple?

Bill: Who knows? Maybe Eve hadn’t figured out how to peel an orange yet. Now Moses seems to be my kind of guy. He and I have a lot in common. Both great leaders. (The other guys groan). I have wondered how God wrote on those stone tablets. Do you think Moses had a hammer and chisel with him when he went up on the mountain.

Charley: Not a problem for God. If Moses didn’t have them with him, God had the option of creating them. Me, I like Daniel and the lion’s den. That story always fascinated me. I figure that the lions didn’t eat old Danny boy because they didn’t like kosher food.
Bob: My favorite is the Christmas story. I guess I’m just an old softy when it comes to stories about babies. I’ll tell you one thing though, if I was Joseph, I would have called ahead and reserved a room. What could he have been thinking?

Charley: Maybe all he had was an American Express Card. That isn’t accepted everywhere you know.

Jack: Do you suppose these stories are real? Are they a good source of history or are they just some fables and legends that got written down.

Bill: I’m not sure, but I did read recently that the Bible has been translated into more languages than any other book and has consistently been the #1 best seller century after century. The article even stated that it’s the book most often stolen from Christian bookstores.

Bob: If that’s true, then it must either be based on some pretty reliable information, or it’s had some great marketing people over the years.

Jack: One thing’s for sure, the Bible sure does seem to raise a lot of questions.

Bill: I suppose we’ll get some answers if our wives keep going to their study group. After all Judy is always willing to “fill me in” after she gets home.

Charley: Guys, all this talk is making me hungry again. Jack, have you got any more pretzels?

Lights fade.
Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
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