Jack Ė who is always late.
Carol- coworker whoís learning how Jack operates.
Janet Ė coworker whoís familiar with Jackís ways.
Janet: I can. When has he ever been on time?
Carol: But heís an hour and ½ late!
Janet: Thatís nothing. Iíve known him to come into this meeting over 3 hours late.
Carol: Well, weíre going to put an end to this in a big hurry.
Janet: We are?
Carol: With this. (pulls out present with a big bow)
Janet: Whatís that?
Carol: Itís a birthday present for Jack. Today is his birthday and I bought him the loudest, most obnoxious sounding alarm clock I could find.
Janet: And you think that will get him up on time?
Carol: Iím sure it will. Wait until he hears it!
(Jack comes rushing in.)
Jack: Hey, sorry Iím late. My alarm clock didnít go off again.
Janet and Carol give each other a meaningful look.
Carol: Weíre glad you finally made it, Jack. Youíre only an hour and ½ late.
Jack: Yeah, well, what do we need to discuss?
Janet: We were just going over the plans for the new stadium. Andy and Tim had a few questions.
Jack: Like what?
Carol: Hereís a list. Maybe you could go over them and we could meet again tomorrow morning, on time that is! I have some other things I have to take care of right now.
Jack: Great. Iíll see you tomorrow at 8:00am sharp.
Carol: Wonderful. By the way, Jack, I have a little something here for you. Happy Birthday.
Jack: Thanks, Carol. You didnít have to do that.
Carol: Oh, yes I did.
Janet: I think sheís right, Jack.
(The next day)
Janet: I guess your gift didnít work.
Carol: I canít believe it. He couldnít possibly have slept through that. It sounds like an air raid siren.
Janet: If anyone could sleep through it he could.
Carol: Iíll give him 5 more minutes and if he doesnít show up, Iím leaving!
Janet: What about the stadium? You know as well as I do that we need his help on that.
Carol: Donít I know it. If we could get this done without him believe me I wouldnít still be sitting here right now.
(Jack comes rushing onstage.)
Jack: Sorry Iím late. That stupid alarm clock didnít go off again!
Carol: Your brand new alarm clock didnít go off???
Jack: I didnít get a new alarm clock.
Janet: What about the one you got yesterday?
Jack: I just told you I didnít get a new one.
Janet: What about the one Carol gave you?
Jack: What are you talking about?
Carol: Didnít you open the birthday present I gave you yesterday?
Jack: Oh that. No, I didnít open it yet.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I like to keep gifts around unopened. They look so nice in the wrapping paper and bows. Iíve still got Christmas presents from 3 years ago that I havenít opened.
Carol: Youíve got to be kidding. What good are they if you donít open them and use them?
Jack: Oh, theyíre good to me. They make me feel that Iím loved and special to the person who gave them to me. I like to just look at them and try to imagine what may be inside of them.
Carol: Well, you can stop imagining on mine. Itís an ALARM CLOCK. I gave it to you so you could use it and stop being late for every meeting in your life!
Jack: Gee, that was very thoughtful of you, Carol, but I probably wonít use it anyway.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I have to use my old alarm clock because itís a wind-up clock, and I canít sleep without the ticking.
Carol: So give me the new one back and Iíll go buy you a new wind-up alarm clock.
Jack: Iíve already tried that it doesnít work.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: On the new ones the tick, tock isnít the same as my old one, which Iíve had since I was a kid. I canít sleep without the old tick, tock.
Janet: So just use both the new one and the old one. At least the new one will go off in the morning.
Jack: Iíve tried that too, but if I do that I still canít sleep.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: I feel like Iíve insulted one of my best friends. Iíve had that alarm clock for so long!
Carol: Arrgh! I canít believe this!
Janet: Jack, you donít still have my present to you from last Christmas do you?
Jack: As a matter of fact I do. Itís the nicest looking Christmas present I have so I didnít open it yet.
Janet: Well, youíd better not open it at all now.
Jack: Why not?
Janet: Because itís a block of cheese!
Jack: Uh, oh.
Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
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