Jack Ė who is always late.
Carol- coworker whoís learning how Jack operates.
Janet Ė coworker whoís familiar with Jackís ways.
Janet: I can. When has he ever been on time?
Carol: But heís an hour and ½ late!
Janet: Thatís nothing. Iíve known him to come into this meeting over 3 hours late.
Carol: Well, weíre going to put an end to this in a big hurry.
Janet: We are?
Carol: With this. (pulls out present with a big bow)
Janet: Whatís that?
Carol: Itís a birthday present for Jack. Today is his birthday and I bought him the loudest, most obnoxious sounding alarm clock I could find.
Janet: And you think that will get him up on time?
Carol: Iím sure it will. Wait until he hears it!
(Jack comes rushing in.)
Jack: Hey, sorry Iím late. My alarm clock didnít go off again.
Janet and Carol give each other a meaningful look.
Carol: Weíre glad you finally made it, Jack. Youíre only an hour and ½ late.
Jack: Yeah, well, what do we need to discuss?
Janet: We were just going over the plans for the new stadium. Andy and Tim had a few questions.
Jack: Like what?
Carol: Hereís a list. Maybe you could go over them and we could meet again tomorrow morning, on time that is! I have some other things I have to take care of right now.
Jack: Great. Iíll see you tomorrow at 8:00am sharp.
Carol: Wonderful. By the way, Jack, I have a little something here for you. Happy Birthday.
Jack: Thanks, Carol. You didnít have to do that.
Carol: Oh, yes I did.
Janet: I think sheís right, Jack.
(The next day)
Janet: I guess your gift didnít work.
Carol: I canít believe it. He couldnít possibly have slept through that. It sounds like an air raid siren.
Janet: If anyone could sleep through it he could.
Carol: Iíll give him 5 more minutes and if he doesnít show up, Iím leaving!
Janet: What about the stadium? You know as well as I do that we need his help on that.
Carol: Donít I know it. If we could get this done without him believe me I wouldnít still be sitting here right now.
(Jack comes rushing onstage.)
Jack: Sorry Iím late. That stupid alarm clock didnít go off again!
Carol: Your brand new alarm clock didnít go off???
Jack: I didnít get a new alarm clock.
Janet: What about the one you got yesterday?
Jack: I just told you I didnít get a new one.
Janet: What about the one Carol gave you?
Jack: What are you talking about?
Carol: Didnít you open the birthday present I gave you yesterday?
Jack: Oh that. No, I didnít open it yet.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I like to keep gifts around unopened. They look so nice in the wrapping paper and bows. Iíve still got Christmas presents from 3 years ago that I havenít opened.
Carol: Youíve got to be kidding. What good are they if you donít open them and use them?
Jack: Oh, theyíre good to me. They make me feel that Iím loved and special to the person who gave them to me. I like to just look at them and try to imagine what may be inside of them.
Carol: Well, you can stop imagining on mine. Itís an ALARM CLOCK. I gave it to you so you could use it and stop being late for every meeting in your life!
Jack: Gee, that was very thoughtful of you, Carol, but I probably wonít use it anyway.
Janet: Why not?
Jack: I have to use my old alarm clock because itís a wind-up clock, and I canít sleep without the ticking.
Carol: So give me the new one back and Iíll go buy you a new wind-up alarm clock.
Jack: Iíve already tried that it doesnít work.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: On the new ones the tick, tock isnít the same as my old one, which Iíve had since I was a kid. I canít sleep without the old tick, tock.
Janet: So just use both the new one and the old one. At least the new one will go off in the morning.
Jack: Iíve tried that too, but if I do that I still canít sleep.
Carol: Why not?
Jack: I feel like Iíve insulted one of my best friends. Iíve had that alarm clock for so long!
Carol: Arrgh! I canít believe this!
Janet: Jack, you donít still have my present to you from last Christmas do you?
Jack: As a matter of fact I do. Itís the nicest looking Christmas present I have so I didnít open it yet.
Janet: Well, youíd better not open it at all now.
Jack: Why not?
Janet: Because itís a block of cheese!
Jack: Uh, oh.
Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
This script may be performed free of charge, provided no charge is made for entrance or for programmes. In return, the authors would like to be notified of any performance. For further information regarding performance rights, they may be contacted at: NIJWMiller@aol.com.